The Cost of Shipping from France

 

 

Fourteen people waiting, only one line open. That was how the morning began at the post office. When it was my turn, the postal worker looked at me with a soured face, looked at the box said something under her breath, then looked back at me. It wasn't a good sign.

 

Though I had carefully printed the address on the box, with a thick black tip marker, the Red Headed postal work wasn't impressed. "You must write the address on a sheet of white paper and attached it to the box." She said blankly. I asked her, "Do you have a piece of blank paper I could use, please?" The reply she gave without uttering a word: "Don't-bother-me."

 

With a quick glance, I found a stack of advertisements. Blank on the back side and white. Happy day! I quickly printed out the address, then asked the postal worker if she had any tape, par chance? She looked at me like I was stepping on her nerves. One word is all she gave, "No."

 

I wondered what she had for breakfast?

 

On my tiptoes I peered into her cubicle, I spotted air mail tape. "How about that tape?" I pointed. She barely looked at me when she said, "Mais non, we do not use airmail tape for that...(she might as well have added dumb head.)

 

With my box in hand, I walked to the store around the corner and bought some tape to fix my newly white make shift address label. The clock overhead said, 11:45. Quickly while juggling my box on my hip, I taped the label to it. Then raced back to the post office before it closed.

 

Entering the post office, I couldn't believe my luck, not a soul in the place. I chuckled because I am easily entertained.

 

The Red Head dropped her cell phone, and barked, "*Merde-Merde-Merde!! It is not possible (The most famous French expression of all time.)! I am closing! You cannot do this at this time--- OUT! OUT! OUT!" I calmly pointed to the clock as my witness. She stomped her foot, took my box, and locked the door behind me.

 

 

 

The Red Head snickered at my box, "This box is going to the United States of America? It will cost you a fortune to send. Are you sure you want to mail it?" I thought of saying, No, I am just here to bug you." I also wanted to add, "It is cheaper then an airline ticket." Instead I shook my head yes.

 

I filled out the declaration (custom paper), then handed it back to the Red Head. Before my eyes she took the declaration, placed it over the address label I had created, then torn a sheet of wide clear plastic tape, and plastered it over the declaration form AND MY WHITE PAPER ADDRESS LABEL!

 

Taped it! Counting to ten is a lesson that has helped me stay calm many of times. I counted to a hundred in record speed.

 

 

She smiled with a twist of bitter lemon that I am sure she had for breakfast.

 

Then she took the box and put it on the scale to weigh. With a tilt of her head and notes of sheer joy in her voice she sang, "Too bad! Too bad! Your box weighs too much! The postal scales are too small they only go to 250 grams, so you will have to go the butcher shop to have this package weighed-- if you want to mail it that is?"

I blinked my eyes in disbelief and could only utter, "What?" Then I started to count out loud..."One..., two..., three..., four... with a very bad word in between each number said.

 

 

 

At the butcher shop, with sides of beef, chickens plucked with their heads still attached, rabbits in full fur, and sausage strung like Christmas lights. I looked at the butcher, and before stating my weird and wacky history of how I came to be in his shop, I began by saying, "Excuse me. The reason I have never been in your shop before, is because I am a vegetarian..."

 

He had a hearty laugh!

 

I liked him instantly.

 

He took my box, "How much did Red Head say her scales went to?" Innocently I added, "250 grams." The butcher marked the box:

 

"251 grams signed, Monsieur Butcher."

 

The box weighed at least five pounds. I looked at him as if he just gave me sliced ham. "This package is at least five pounds?" The butcher laughed, "Not by my scales."

 

 

At 3:00 pm I was first in line at the post office. Red Head unlocked the door. She smiled, "Oh you are here again. Is everything ready to go? Viola! C'est bon!" She didn't even flinch at 251 grams! What did she have for lunch?

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p.s.  Not all post clerks in France are like the Red Head.

Comments

[Diogenes]

When I encounter this personality type, I usually try to get them to laugh. Make a joke, etc. But your red head presented a particular challenge. It sounds like Mr. Butcher has got her number. Maybe she enjoyed an herbal mellowing agent during lunch, LOL.

[Merisi in Vienna]

Oh dear, that was a tough red cookie! ;-)

I mailed a small box with candied violets and a few chocolate treats to the USA yesterday. Cost 25 Euros for less probably less than 251 grams. The service at the post office was very friendly, though ;-)

[Linda R.]

Okay, I needed a laugh today, and I just got it. Merci bien.

[Cy Todd]

Oh Corey... I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!
I DREAD going to the post office here on the Riviera too! Not all post clerks are like your Red Head, but MANY are! Sorry for your story. Know you are not alone! Cy

[Massilianana]

Hourra pour Mr le Boucher ! He certainly has a very good sense of humour !

[WR]

Ah! les Français, they can be so... how do you say...

And you my dear are a real sport!

[Shelley Noble]

These sorts of people are sometimes called, "Petty Tyrants" and we have them in the States too.

Fortunately, for the good of the world, there are also the jolly saints like the butcher who counter such negative folly.

It may have well been the Red Head's blood sugar dropping!

[kelly]

She's giving some of us redheads a very bad name! Sorry you had to endure such craziness!!!!
We have a clerk here with mile long fingernails (I'm not kidding) and an attitude that's just as weird. My Mom works for the P.O. and always has stories to tell!

[Nancy W.]

Oh dear. I hope it was not one of the boxes you sent to me. I would hate to think you had to endure such behavior on my behalf. When I encounter such behavior, I always think, "I would rather be me than that person" " They must be very unhappy people".Also think, "I don't have to invite them home to dinner".

[head in the sun]

The universe always seems to balance itself out.
A cheeky, fun butcher to even out the odds against a sour postmistress!

[martina]

The butcher sounds like a doll-the postal employee---not so much. There is a clerk at our local post office that we jokingly call slow Bob. Nice man but he works at about half the speed of the other mail clerks.

[Laura @ 52 FLEA]

I am worried that the address label is still under the declaration and that your package will be lost!

[Brenda, Walker, LA]

Chuckles, that was so funny....But I feel your pain, it is a most interesting task to survive our little post office at times! Happy Easter!

[Momof5]

What a gift for story telling you have. But then that's why we're all such loyal fans. I loved this story! And I loved the butcher too. Sorry it was such an ordeal but the silver lining is the wonderful way you have with words in sharing it with us.

[Toni]

Surely the pain of the experience was dulled by the joy with which you knew you could relate the story...this reminds me SO much of my mother. It's something that might have happened to her. Thank you for the reminder of the memories.

[g]

Truly laugh out loud-i have fallen for the butcher -love when people are so warm and laugh-funny story-

[Marilyn]

Red head must have been having a very bad day. This story did give me a smile.

[Amylia Grace]

How infuriating! But I love the butcher! And the story! Whomever is receiving the box is a lucky soul!!

[Lynne]

Best butcher man EVER . . .

[Leigh NZ]

Oh Corey you were so controlled; I'm not sure that I would have been! When in Aix I posted some of my shopping home to New Zealand...2 large 7 KG boxes full together with 6 large 2 KG bubble bags; 26 Kilos in all. The postage cost me an arm and a leg but I was very impressed with the efficiency of La Poste and the two men behind the counter who assisted me were more than helpful. Thank goodness I didn't strike someone your redhead with that lot!!

[Leigh NZ]

Perhaps your redhead had lemons for breakfast and afternoon delight for lunch?

[Natalie Thiele]

Good grief! I love that butcher and I'm a vegetarian, too. If I ever visit your charming town I will want to meet him, right after I meet your family and Annie.
Tim, our local postal worker is very nice. One time I accidentally left the post office without writing an address on a package (how did that happen?) so he drove the package to my house so that I could address it. He gets See's candy at Christmas!

[French la Vie]

Hi Natalie

Can Tim come to France?
c

[French la Vie]

lol, Leigh I think you got that right!

[French la Vie]

Hi Leigh,

Our post office is very good.... except Red Head.
Seven kilos cost 41 Euros (63 Dollars to mail).
Still cheaper than an airline ticket. Though when travelling it
is sometimes worth the hassle of carrying an extra suitcase, and to pay for an extra for it (50 dollars for a 24 kilo bag.)

c

[French la Vie]

Hi Laura

No the declaration has the address on it.

C

[French la Vie]

Hi Nancy W

I love what you wrote:

"I would rather be me than that person" " They must be very unhappy people".Also think, "I don't have to invite them home to dinner".

SO true!

[Barbara from Sydney]

OOh maybe redhead visited the butcher for lunch!!!!!!!!!!!

[Evelyn]

Funny story....so French! I'm very glad my La Poste ladies are so nice. They even pretend to understand my pitiful French. And Pasquale, my mail lady in the bright yellow La Poste truck, couldn't be nicer.

[Dawn Edmonson]

What a great post girl!!! You tell the story so wonderfully!!!! I just love it that the butcher stuck it to the mail lady...xxoo

[Maureen]

Oh what a story! Perhaps afternoons are too slow and she needed to ensure she would get at least one cutomer. Your Red Head sounds quite contrary ;0)
Maureen x

[Debbie]

Gosh, I think I might have encountered the same postal clerk when I was in France late last year - your amusing story made me immediately think of her - description sounds the same - maybe she temps in various post offices around France?

[Carol L]

First of all I am going to visit that butcher and buy a really big fillet on his magic scale and second I sure hope that package wasn't being sent to me. God knows the indecencies it suffered after you left !

[Sam @ My Carolina Kitchen]

Good one. We have postal clerks with an attitude here in the states too. You gotta love that butcher though.
Sam

[annie vanderven]

You are so funny, true, true, true, this is very typical of french civil servants(I can say that as I am french) but I should say it is also true of american civil servants... have had my share of these experiences here in the US.Dont anyone get their knickers in a twist, it is the same the world over!!!!.. I give them what my children call "snake eyes" and like you stand my ground, that it is the trick never ever give up it drives them crazy, all with a very calm stance!!!

Annie v.

[annie vanderven]

Just realized the "Rue du Sauvage" so appropriate, so "Tongue in Cheek"

Annie v.

[jend'isère]

To my surprise I have encountered grouchy postal workers in US, land of friendliness. Like immigration bureaus^, postal offices have a universal grouch factor.

[Lemon Tree Tami]

Oh my goodness, this gave me such a laugh this morning. What an interesting person that red haired mail clerk! Gotta love how the butcher likes to play with her head too. :-)

[Monika]

Oh thank you for the laugh Corey!!!! (that was a good belly laugh!)

And funnily enough, as a lapsed vegetarian, I have found butchers to be the most amazingly helpful, wonderful, people...

[Derrick Dodson]

You just made my day!!

[La Contessa]

So, CLASSIC!I relate cause thats how it would be in ITALY too!I wonder if you showed her she made your BLOG if she would be nicer next time!
XXX

[Kit]

well done for surviving that with sense of humour intact! I would have been boiling but keeping it under a lid and giving myself an ulcer! So glad that your butcher put the silver lining into the experience and came up trumps!

[Jeannie]

I won't write what I think she "had" for lunch, but I see a chapter in a trash novel in my future. :) Not only have the powers that be taken the fun out of flying, they now seem determined to take the fun out of mailing treats to friends. Even mailing across the states has become a headache. Thanks for the giggle.

[Gail]

This makes me so sad and I feel quilty for making you stand in that line for my orders! You should ask for hazard pay to be included in your shipping charges! That red head needs someone to pray for her, she must be a very unhappy person to take such delight in being so rude to other people!

[Joanna]

Charming story!

Can we make the Redhead and the Butcher regualars?

[Jill Flory]

LOL! You know what Corey - I bet she knows you have this blog - and she had it all staged just to give you a great story to blog about! Sorry for the frustration and time it cost you but it was such fun to read!

[France Forever]

Amusing story and so typical!

[Dawn Fleming]

Great post! There is a similar post office woman with dark hair in Westmont, Illinois!

[Tuscan Rose]

Her twin sister who was separated at birth works at my post office, here in the US.

[Anjanette]

My FAV reply!!! OH YES!!!

[Zosia]

Can you tell the butcher that I've started his fun club in Warsaw :-).

[Debra]

So funny, C. When I was in Cergy in Oct., I had postcards to send home. Being on foot and relying on my hosts for rides, I quickly slipped into la poste to mail them. The line was so long. Then, thank goodness, I saw the postage machines in the back. Figured out how to get stamps out, then begged some French lady to mail them when she got up to the front. She did!! My family got the cards!! In fact, our post master in my small town just retired, and she was a cantankerous old red head I avoided each & every visit! Is there something with red heads?

[Kathie B]

Farmboy Husband and I were in the Ponta Delgada, São Miguel (Azores), post office this week to mail picture postcards to family and friends, and our experience with the staff couldn't have been more opposite. First we took a tag of paper with a number (like at a delicatessen), then sat(!) waiting till it was called -- only one ahead of us. I laid the cards on the counter message-side up, and asked in Portuguese, "Quanto custam?" (How much do they cost?). The postal clerk cheerfully counted out 16 stamps of correct denominations for mailing to the US and UK -- then, still smiling, used a gluestick to adhere the correct stamp onto each card for me! -- and placed them into the outgoing mail bin. We paid, she counted out the change, and we were out the door for a final walk around downtown before collecting our bags and heading to the airport for the flight home.

Mind you, this was not the speediest procedure (at least for the folks with numbers after ours), but in the US one would've just paid for the stamps, had to place them on each card oneself, then gone to the appropriate mail-slots in order to drop them in.

[Kathie B]

P.S. There were at least three other counters open at the time of our transaction, so we weren't slowing down the postal commerce too much. Perhaps another reason the clerks were relatively cheery was that, unlike in US post offices, they work sitting down (because aching feet can ruin anyone's disposition).

[Kiki]

oh Corey; she's no longer down chez toi - she moved up here to where I live!!!!! But I DO love your butcher...:)