Project Paris, Grr Grapefruit!

 

"Grrrr, Grapefruit!" that is how I taught the two little neighbor boys, who come to my house for English lessons, the word grapefruit. I am not sure they know it is a fruit. Since I growled, "Grr" a long time before saying grapefruit. At least they are pronouncing the G.R. sound perfectly.

You see while given an English lesson this morning, the contractor called to say he had to delay our Paris apartment project again! Since March he has been delaying the project.

He added, "We will start work mid July." 

 

Compared to most problems in the world, a delayed project is nothing to get flustered about. It doesn't even compare to our friend who struggles with his illness every moment of the day..

It is easier to express frustration over something less complicated, than expressing the depth of frustration and sadness regarding our friend's illness. It is easier to get upset about nothing than tackle the issue at hand. That is not to say we aren't aware, or dealing with the sadness of our friend. We are. But that doesn't make it go away or easier to hold.

 

 

We are holding on, holding our friend, holding each other... and this hiccup, this phone call stating yet another delay to our planned Paris project, can be seen as an avenue to release a little tension.

We should see it as a good thing.

We really should.

So instead of blowing a gasket (As my Father would say.) I growled, "Grr grapefruit!"

And the little boys giggled, then repeated, "Grr grapefruit!"

 

 

Mood board.

Daily report card.

To Do List.

Perspective.

Check.

Grumble Grr, and get on with it.

Each thing in its place.

Prayer for balance and grace.

Look into the eyes of the one I love.

And give generously what I have.

Squeeze the grapefruit, add vodka. 

 

 

 

Comments

[jend'isère]

Now teach them greyhound, with the greyhound in hand. Salt the rim and it transorms to a salty dog!

[Gail]

Perfectly said

[Smee]

When my eldest child was 6 he was diagnosed with a *potentially* fatal blood disease.
We dealt with trips to an oncology clinic over a 7-8 year period for emergency treatments, admittance, or aid. Once, when we rushed in, we found the entire clinic in a state that, as a grown up, I knew meant someone else's child was in the process of dying.
After a few moments, I reassessed my own child's need and felt that it was so completely minor to that which was happening for another family, that I felt I could handle the situation at home, and began to leave.
Our nurse Marcy, noticed us gathering our things to leave and quickly and very sternly stopped us in our tracks and begged us to stay just a few minutes more "PLEASE, don't leave, just DON'T!" So we stayed.

About 45 minutes later we were greeted and shown a room, and Marcy came in and shut the door. She sat me down in a chair by my shoulders and held onto me as she said, "I know what you're thinking. I know you understand what just happened and that, in comparison, *your* problem is little and doesn't merit our attention. You are wrong. What happened to the other family *is* devastating, but it is happening to *them*. What is happening to *your* son is also happening, and it's just as devastating to you, although the outcomes will be much different..."

And this is why I am writing to you (and to anyone who may read this)today -

"...your pain or disappointment, your anxiety, your fears, all your emotions are *yours*, and they deserve our attention just as much as someone with seemingly more important problems."

Yes, delay on construction is hard to compare with world hunger, financial ruin, the illness of dear friends, or natural disasters ravaging the landscape, however in *your* world they are very important, and it's o.k. for you to feel what you feel. There is a fine line between narcissism and still allowing our selves to feel our (minor or otherwise) needs require attention *now*. Hang in there, and know it's o.k. to be frustrated over the little things. They are *your* little things.

All that to say, I hope things get resolved quickly!

[Janet with Eiffel]

Learning to look after one's self is
a difficult lesson, especially for women
I think. It is so important to find
that place between narcissism and self care.
Don't let the "survivor guilt" take you.

I believe mental illness is contagious.
Care givers need to take very good care
of themselves.
Every bit as good care as the ones they love.

[martina]

I cannot say things any more beautifully than what Smee and Janet have said. Can only send internet hugs and let you know that prayers are being sent for you and our friend.

[French la Vie]

Wow Smee. Simply wow. Thank you. Your words echo much truth not just for me, but for many. Well said. xxx I hope your child is thriving!

[Dawn Fleming]

Sometimes you have to have a little grapefruit juice with your vodka to deal with things at hand - that plus prayers, love and patience. But it is all so overwhelming at times, isn't it? Is your friend taking medication to help him to try and get some balance in his life? I hope he is - when my brother took his med.'s he was at his best at coping with his bipolar disorder, which gave us all some peace. Best to all of you.

[Mrs A]

What a beautiful friend you are! And Smee's comment, so wise. I think sometimes we NEED to be irritated about 'normal' things so that we are able to cope with the larger ones. And you must take care of the career, you. Mrs A

[Karen C]

My friend feels she is held captive by mental health disease. Not hers, but 4 members of her family. Father, sister, husband and son.
As difficult as it is for the person whose mind is trapped, I can also see how hard it is for her to live her own life when those around her seem to be entirely self absorbed with no conscience for anything but their own needs, constantly controlling others with emotional blackmail.
I know this sounds bitter and twisted and unsympathetic - but she is my friend and I feel for her.
I wish she had a relationship like yours and Yann's to take harbour in.
And grrr . . . Delays!
Love to you Corey,
Karen C

[mimi]

Thank you Smee. Sometimes we need to be reminded that whatever we face is important to us and that is OK.

[Leigh NZ]

So true Smee!!

I know that you are so looking forward to your Paris project...the excitement and the diversion. Grill the grapefruit and sprinkle a little brown sugar to add some sweetness to the sour, devour!!

[Remy Caron]

Corey, I am curious to know if your friend Thierry knows that you write about him on your blog. Unless you have his permission to share his very sad situation, this seems to me to be an invasion of his privacy at an extremely difficult time in his life. I know that I don't need to read something that I find, to be honest, somewhat offensive. But my concern is not for me, rather it is out of respect for him. When you reference him, I have simply stopped reading because I feel that his problems are deeply personal and simply not my business. To me, it would be kinder and more respectful to perhaps just say that you have a special friend who needs your support and ask for prayers. I don't understand why you need to share all these details of a friend's demons and personal battle. (And, yes, I do pray for him!)

[Judi]

Corey, your wisdom continues to astound me. And the way you express these thoughts is moving, clever and heartfelt. We all keep telling you....when are you publishing that book?!!!

I would offer to be your editor, as I'm sure you are aware that your English is sometimes fractured due to your dual-lingalism (see? I can make up words, too). Except, that the fractured English is so much a part of your charm, I suspect, as your editor, I would leave it just as it is!

On another note....always keeping Thierry in mind and heart. I understand. I mean, I REALLY understand. It will be up to him but your presence can ease his pain. Bless you and Yann for being there for him.

[24/7 in France]

I hope both issues can be taken care of in their own time - "to everything there is a season" - Bon courage!

[French la Vie]

Hi Remy Caron
I appreciate your asking. Yes he does know. I asked/ask his permission. He appreciates the prayers and concern. It is hard to write a personal blog and not share that which is deeply connected to my / our lives. Whatever I write (except regarding the neighbor's cat) I have asked permission.

If I wrote every detail of his struggle I would be invading his privacy. I share the struggle not the day to day issues.

Thank you for your concern. I will keep it in mind as I remain faithful to journaling about my journey, .

Thank you for reminding me to be mindful, C

[French la Vie]

Hi Judi

Thank you.

My dual-lingalism is part of the problem.
My lack of proof reading is another.
If you are coming to France, have the patience of Mary the Mother of God, can cook, clean, drive and a publisher ready, come on over :)

c

[Zosia]

Dear Corey, I just would like to send you a big, warm hug across the miles and for your friend, too.
I would also like to put a smile on your face. When you mentioned the yet again delayed renovation of your Paris apartment, I thought of Mr. Colombani and his crew from Peter Mayle's "A Year in Provence".

[La Contessa]

AH yes.........more delay..........could be worse as you said.HANG IN THERE COREY!
xxx

[Smee]

Thank *you*! It was a very hard struggle when he was so young, to watch all he had to endure, but yes, he's all grown up now with children of his own. He is a FireFighter here in SoCAL, and yes, he still struggles. He has been diagnosed with what most people know as the "Bubble Boy" syndrome, CVID, a person who no longer creates antibodies. He has RA and a bunch of other auto-immune problems, has to endure treatments each month, and has had a knee replaced (due to the RA). That said, he loves life and explores as much of it (maybe more) as any guy his age would do. He's otherwise healthy, lol, and yes thrives!

[Shelley Noble]

Perfect Post, Cory. A blend of depth of insight of life experience mixed with a dash of playful spices, so like you.

[Remy Caron]

Thank you, Corey....this is just the response I was hoping for!

[Marilyn]

Blessings on you and family as you share life's ups and downs with Thierry. Tell him we send hugs to lift him up. I am praying for him.
The second picture, every time I see round floral medallions such as this I think someone should make cookies that look like this and we can indeed lick and take within this beauty.