Merci Beaucoup

 

Merci 

I am in awe of your kindness and thoughtfulness

what an abundance I have to lean on.

I feel guilty for not responding to each of you personally!

My mother said the same thing the other day. She has received many cards, letters, flowers,

food, visit, and acts of kindness... she is overwhelmed by the love and support.

On the phone, my mom said, "How am I ever going to be able to write everyone?

I have been keeping a list but it is becoming longer and longer 

and I haven't even started to respond!"

 

I have felt that weight too of wanting to respond to each of you and yet not being able to...

it is as if each acknowledgment, each thank you reminds me of the reality so very present.

 

That is not to say we are ungrateful,

because the love shown in so many ways helps us carry our sadness.

We are grateful.

 

But the energy it

takes to respond isn't there. It will be, but it isn't now.

I talked about this to my mom. Saying, everyone understands.

Nobody expects anything from you.

We all know it is harder to receive than to give.

 Grief takes energy and swallows up our everyday thoughts

and rarely gives a space to be or do as we would usually.

 

 

Grief is a bag of mixed emotions Kubler-Ross

explains it well

 

 

 

 

When I lived in the monastery (19 to 22 years of age) I was fortunate that it was a retreat house

on depth psychology, spiritual direction, seeing fairytales, myth, and scripture intertwined and yet separate.

Amazing people came to visit and share their experiences I was a sponge happily soaking

in such new ideas, wisdom, and the freedom to question.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's books had a tremendous impact on me.

Grief takes time and while it does it heals.

I often say to others who are grieving,

"Be gentle with yourself. No feeling is a bad feeling. Allow yourself time to sit still, weep and be."

 

Thank you for every ounce of love and goodness you have shared with me!

Every poem, tear, candle, thought, prayer, quote, card, comment...

I am grateful.

 

 

 

Comments

[RebeccaNYC]

After dad died, I felt guilt over not being able to respond to every incredible act of kindness. So many people reached out, but I felt immobilized with grief and kind of overwhelmed by the thought of thanking everyone. And then I realized that it was a wave of LOVE by people who loved me. And then it was ok.

I love that graphic of the process that Kubler-Ross explained so well. The normal functioning represented by little squares which turns to little circles when one returns to meaningful life. Grief is a powerful change agent.

Sending you a tsunami of LOVE

[Ed Schnurbusch]

You and your family are loved. I don't think anyone expects anything in return.

[JEANNERENÉE]

Acceptez ces témoignages comme une chaine d'amour. Elle accompagnera peut-être votre deuil vers l'acceptation de cette cruelle absence et pour vivre avec cette autre cicatrice. Je n'accepte pas l'idée "de faire son deuil" l'idée que c'est fait et que c'est fini. A demain à la rencontre de vos mots.

[Nancy]

I do not think thank yous are expected. I think that everyone that has lost someone and had the outpouring of prayers, words and actions wants to pass them on, knowing how important it is at that moment. Pure and simple human kindness.

[Diane Belforte Lewis]

I agree that thank yous are not expected at all. Thinking of all of you each and every day.

[Diogenes]

I think you've given us all a gift every day on your blog. It adds up to a big, big present over time. We're just standing by your side.

[LeighNZ]

I’m very familiar with Kubler-Ross and the five stages of grieving. Corey you give so much of yourself and your family to all of us and we are always here for you to help where we can. Every day you give in abundance and so our love, support and prayers are given in return. You continue to remain in our hearts and thoughts; you thank us every day with your beautiful words, stories and photos...XX

[Kate]

Dear Corey.. we all understand how you will be feeling and nobody expects you to have the energy to respond. Please don’t feel that burden, it’s our love we send to you and your family. ❤️❤️

[Jeanne]

It is pure love we are sending and no one expects anything in return.
Just focus on your families needs at this time both near and far.
Grief you are correct robs us of our strength, energy and many other things besides.
Hugs my sweet friend and many prayers for you all
Love Jeanne

[Anna]

All have spoken so beautifully here — we’re returning the love, dear Corey, which you have so generously given us each day. Thank you!

[Ana]

We come alongside you. We sit still with you. We know your grief,we who know expect neither acknowledgement nor response. Know we are with you as you have been with us when we needed you. You came alongside me at a terrible time and it was enough to know you were there expecting nothing but giving all. Love to you and your family.

[jackie]

Everyone has expressed what I am thinking so very well. We need and expect nothing. We are happy to be able to do our small part...no worries dear Corey, no worries.

[BeckyFar]

Everyone has experienced a heart shattering loss. We all know what it feels like, we also know what it feels like to have the love of so many embracing you.

[Ann]

It helps us to send love & share your grief. Yours is the first blog I read every day. I thirst for the comfort you & your sweet Mom & all the family are embracing the sorrow but moving toward the assurance of everlasting life for beloved Marty. Your healing is more than thanks enough.✝️

[Bev]

Even in your grief you are being a blessing to me ...teaching me to understand my grief process. Sending Love to you and your family.
I agree individual
thank yous not expected.

[Kathy]

God bless you, dear Corey. I send you love.

[Liane]

Dear Corey, my heart is with you and all your loving family. Please lean on us if you ever feel the need. We will always be here❤️

[Becky]

This May will be six years since my husband Steve passed. I still have a drawer of cards that I have not gone through besides initially opening them. This past year of Covid has made those nearly 6 years feel like 6 days. Some days I feel I am back at square one. Some days I am. I am not following a grief map. Never been good at maps. If I could tell your Mama one thing it would be to not let these cards be a burden. They were only intended to be a blessing. God bless and keep your broken hearts.

[Marilyn]

How blessed to have had the experience to learn these things at a young age.
Take comfort, hug it close, and sit with it awhile.