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10 March 2021

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Ah, this is beautiful and poignant and will stay with me today, I know. Thank you, Corey. xoxo

A story that emphasises that we never know the back story of those around us. Easy to say and hard to do, but we shouldn't ever judge.

Thank you. This story about Marty reminds me that ordinary 'just living your life' days are precious.

When my partner of 23 years was dying, I tried very hard to keep upbeat. We joked and talked politics. I tried to make sure he ate dinner with me at the table until it got to be too much. I only broke down once in front of him, and quickly recovered my composure. That was more than enough to let him know I cared deeply. The last night of his life we watched television together until he fell asleep.

I love this story.

I love this story. Sometimes we don't want to appear insensitive or go on and on about our lives
when others are suffering so. It's a delicate balance. Thanks for bringing this to light
God bless your brother Marty and everyone who has suffered so much with cancer, or many things in life.
God bless your family Corey
God bless you
Your brother will live on forever in your hearts
Much love
Jeanne

xo
j-

Oh Corey, longing for normal, so true. When I visited my friend for the last time right before Christmas, I went for a visit and lunch. I baked them Christmas cookies and took a small tree that had a santa hat on top. During lunch we talked and laughed just like before. We had a lot of memories during our college days, then I was a bridesmaid at his wedding but we didn't talk about those things, just about my job and all the stress that went with it, about every day things. I left thinking what a great visit and not long after that he passed away. I am so glad I had that time with him because instead of sadness, I focused on our friendship. I guess Marty's answer to that person could have been, "I biked as many miles as God would give me" and not quantify and not focus on limitations. Just be.

Maybe this is why my father said he would beat cancer and live to be 130. I thought it sounded crazy, but maybe it was to have normalcy. He passed away 10 years ago.

Cancer sucks! Big time! What a lovely story to recall,though so sad.

So much to reflect on in your beautiful story —- the longing, yearning, hope —- for every shred of normalcy, ordinariness, dailiness, amidst the devastating reality. Thank you, Corey!.

That was beautiful Corey.

When Mom was dying, besides the physical suffering and the knowing that she was soon to say goodbye to the people, places and things she loved, was seeing the pain it caused to those who love her. "I'm sorry to be putting you all through this," she said to us. So we too tried to be upbeat, to show her that we were happy and coping and honoured to help her, and that we would be all right in spite of our sorrow and impending loss.

Thank you for this reminder via Marty that we need to act as normal as possible and not let our own feelings take precedence in our dealings with someone who is dying.

I will remember it, too, in future when I'm with a friend whose daughter has just died. Maybe she won't want to be "the bereaved mother" every time we talk.

-Kate

Thank you for opening my eyes 💜

Thank you for sharing Marty’s story, friend.

Thank you for posting this Corey...beautiful

Yes, cancer really does suck. Thank you and Marty for reminding us that when people are ill, they aren't dead yet. My sister wanted to talk while she was dying with cancer and we often reminisced about old times and took comfort in bad jokes. Another friend, who was a nurse, was told by her terminally ill sister that she wanted her to continue to be her sister and not her nurse. Marty sounds like a really wise guy, in both senses of the word.

What a joy to read a Marty story.
Dear Marty, I’ll try to remember this when I have friends and beloveds with cancer — to relate to them as though they are still THEM because they are. Good lesson.

Thx for sharing the story. I do like the punchline of his story as well.

Marty told me the same story and I loved hearing that he was treated like that out in the unknown. I laughed when Marty told me the guy gave the impression that Marty was a wannabe. Marty was no wannabe. He was a cyclist in the truest sense and I know cyclists! Today is Marty's birthday...Happy Birthday Brother, any bicycle ride is a good bicycle ride. Enjoy it!

Thank you for that story. A friend was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and she told me she didn't want it to be her identity for the next months or years. I promised to walk with her, so Marty's story will remind me to walk with her in a more caring way.

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