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16 May 2021

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Thank you for sharing your heart. This pandemic has changed our worlds completely.
You have had many challenging times and heart aches as well.
I love your story about the swallows. We must find hope and light and love all around us in spite
of it all.
Praying for us all.
Love Jeanne

“Birds routinely fly in high winds close to buildings and terrain — often in gusts as fast as their flight speed,” Windsor said. “So the ability to cope with strong and sudden changes in wind is essential for their survival and to be able to do things like land safely. As migrating birds glide, they seek out another thermal to gain altitude again. Soaring birds that wish to stay aloft without flapping in normal wind usually fly INTO the wind for lift. ... They gain lift for a while and then lose altitude as they head where they actually want, and then gain lift again."

I guess we are just flying into the wind, working hard to cope with all the shifts and changes that the winds of life present.

you have summed up the last year plus for me ... one storm after another -some more damaging-some just the rain and the wind... i am tired and wiped out-- fits of crying and then quiet silence- longing for a more even time- spring has been elusive here too -

At this age, I am entering a world that I don't particularly want to enter - old age. I live as youthfully as I can and appreciate the friends and siblings who are aging along with me. Can't dwell on what might happen in the future. We'll take it one step at a time. There's a lot for which to be grateful.

I think of the future...the world that we leave for our children and grandchildren. I think they have it harder than we did, despite today's incredible amount of electronic gadgetry and information. I always go to my favorite verse: "And which of you by being anxious can add a cubit unto the measure of his life?" Matthew 6:26. When are we going to learn? If we would just love one another...

Oh a new baby is such a gift. Your little Gabriel can brighten any day.
It seems as we age and we see so much sorrow some days just seem to become more difficult. I know I have noticed that for myself. In the silence of the early morning I just have to put my head down and let it swim over me for a bit and then remind myself of the good in my life and also go walking to notice what I can notice. Sending love and joy in basket/buckets full in my thoughts and prayers just for you and each of us feeling the sadness these days.

I feel very deeply what you are talking about. The loss of my dad to Covid, the loss of friends to the cult of Trump, the addition of my step-son and his growing family to my life, has me swinging back and forth between despair and joy. I'm getting older. Time is passing quickly, and I need to grasp what is left of my life with both hands and hang on. What do I want to do with what is left? Always the people pleaser, will I have the courage to strike out and forge a new, long desired path? I am betwixt and between right now. I am trying to sit with it and honor my feelings about it all.

Sending you lots of love and support, always.

Like you, my family, myself & my husband, we are all growing older.I just turned 73 in March. In the year 2020, we not only had the Corona Virus pandemic but I was diagnosed with Parkinson' Disease and my husband has had a stroke. We finally realized that health wise we would not be able to move back to my hometown to the house I grew up in and own as we have planned for several years. Instead we put it on the market to sell and it sold in two days. And so my dream slipped away. I am so sad. But what can be done? It is what it is.

I too am ageing, today I spent the day planting vincas in my south facing flower bed....with roses and glads, daisys, it's been quite a while for me to be able to do such things! During covid I fell down on my you know what, had severe sciatica, ended up with drop foot, and arthritis in the other foot!, and am finally able to walk in the neighborhood for 28 minuetes. Today while planting, trimming, manicuring, I felt totally at peace! Thank you Lord for the little moments of your peace Amen.

Corey, I am 65, and I think that after 60 we have to come to terms with this new phase of our life. Our bodies are no longer young, nor are those of many of our family and loved ones. This causes us to have thoughts that we may never have had before because we just weren't "THERE" yet. But here we are. I think it is a transition period--our sixties; some feel it earlier, some later, but we are going to feel it at some point. I am getting more comfortable with being a senior now, and there are some really good things about it, as well as some that are not so great. Just ride it, Corey, and feel what you feel, day by day. I think you will be fine and settle into senior years comfortably. In the U.S. the politics are still disturbing, but Covid is being managed, thanks to Biden's leadership, and things are starting to open up and feel more normal. It helps. Europe is heading in the same direction and will get there, too. Just take it a day at a time and feel what you feel. You are in a state of metamorphosis; just ride it.

My Dear Corey, such a sweet and honest look at life. I'm 69 and you described my life now perfectly!
God has peppered blessings and strengths in with the loss and hardships. I am healthy again after a winter of hospital stays and not walking. Spring has given me new hope and joy. Thank you again for sharing and this place where we can gather and get strength and insight. Blessings

"My days have held sorrow, questioning, and longing.

"...

"My mood swings, my thoughts are plentiful about life, faith, acceptance, gratitude... sadness."

Your above words describe how I've been too. I continue to spend all but 1.5-2 of my waking hours every day trying to accomplish what is necessary to close my husband's law practice during the pandemic.

Please don't hesitate to tell us about the challenges you are facing (unless you would rather not). We are here for you. 😘Leslie

My beautiful bambino; so cute! 🥰
Being 63 myself I feel the same feelings you’ve so well listed, everyday!
My moods are on a see / saw, and even if I try to concentrate on the “Here & Now”, the mind keeps going back to the past, to when I was young and careless but mostly “free”, as in Italy we are still under lockdown even if a little lesser now and the weather it’s not helping at all.
I should have learned by now that it’s no use going back to yesterday as I was a very different person then!
Had a bit of a break at the weekend in my house on the Bergamo mountains where the weather was very variable but at least the scenery was a different one from an apartment sited on the 4th floor, 3km from Milan; can’t wait to go there in June returning mid October with 15 days at the seaside somewhere in Italy in September. You are very lucky as you’ve the sea all year long and even if on a cloudy day it can make you sad, it can also sooth you on beautiful sunny days! You have it there on your threshold and not far you have hills and mountains; I believe in nature curing us and every day you got the chance to do just that with your surroundings; make the most of it! Last but not leadt you have my beautiful bambino around you and soon another baby coming to bring more happiness to your family; so much to be very grateful indeed! A big hug to you and a big smooch to Gabriel 🤗 🥰 Pattylabelle58

Well, I am officially 62 now, recent birthday has come and gone. Last year was a real sod with Covid and my few months of what could only be described as an anxious and almost depressive state, something I did not even know to recognise as it has not been anything I have experienced before. I was relatively late with Menopause and I believe it was that hormone shock that sent me into the troublesome phase, including migraines of a strange sort, which I did not know to expect either...but, I got through that, we got through Covid and now we are waiting for vaccines in the next month or so, after the more fragile and front line have all been done...so, life moves on, 62 is just a number really, sure we have some health issues, but you do all through life really, you just forget them. I recently fell off a ladder, which was not well balanced and tipped me off, was on carpet, but my head hit a tiled floor and I had an instant massive egg on the corner of my forehead, my husband was of course away for the first time in months and it was quite late at night..I am a night owl and was sorting linen to give to my step-son for setting up his home with his partner, should have been in bed reading...but there you go! So two+ hours later I left A&E after being checked for my head bump and all the bruising on my face has finally cleared...I took the ladder to the dump and next time I will not do something so silly when on my own! All these things are lessons in life..we have to see them through....keep on smiling and thinking about that new baby person who will join you soon and look towards the spring... xx from Jennifer in NZ

And here I thought I was the only one feeling this way at 61. I am so sorry you are having these thoughts, Corey, but as your readers' comments indicate, all of us are. Thank you dear fellow readers for sharing your feelings. All my older cousins are dying, friends are sick and not aging well but I take solace in my morning walks, expanding garden and all the wonderful neighbors I meet throughout the day. Once covid restrictions are gone, volunteering to assist those in great need will be the best thing to make us forget our own sadness. Either that or all getting together with wine and lots of chocolate desserts!!!

Thank you for writing this - I have been quite frustrated with myself for struggling with many of these thoughts. Feeling the days shorten ahead, long held dreams no longer of interest and longing for new ones to replace them. Unexpected changes within my family brought grief and grasping for the wisdom to live through it. Thank you to you and your readers who commented as I see once again to just hold still, give thanks for the moment and the gifts I have.

A bicycle? And no training wheels?! Is he going to be a daredevil like some of the other men in your family? Since I was unable to have children, I think if I had Gabriel to enjoy I'd be on top of the world. He is something else.

Dear Corey, as others have posted, your thoughts echo mine and I’ve been discussing the topic of remaining years with friends recently. At 76, I’m one of the oldest of a large flock of cousins. I’m close to most of them and one has just completed chemo. We hope to get many of us together in the Summer to sing, dance, tell stories and share food. There was an article in the NYT this week about a young nun who focuses on the concept of memento mori or “remember death”. It sounds grim but I found it comforting. I didn’t want to post or send it because one doesn’t know how others might see it. I hope to make the most of my time, still curious, learning, doing and loving. I’m glad to know you have happier days ahead and I appreciate that you share so much. No matter how it may appear, no life is without trials.

❤❤❤

I identify so much with your post, Corey, and the comments, above.

Prayers for daily strength, and peace. For the community of readers, here - for you and your lovely family, and for me, too :)

My Dear Corey,
At age 83 I am in the “One Day at a Time” mode...and try to live by the Clint Eastwood quote, “Tomorrow is Promised to No One”...
Each morning I look to the Southern sky(towards Willows) from our deck where the first light shines from here in Red Bluff..and I thank the heavens for another day..for me, my husband and our family...
Bette Lee

Dear Corey,

i could not speak yesterday after reading your post..
you spoke so clearly and i wept and do again now..
for all of us.
i don't think many feel differently though they may not notice and push through ignoring their own and others thoughts and feelings.
or maybe their pain is too much to acknowledge.

my words would have taken long to express clearly. i do wonder if your words flow so easily and beautifully or do you need to edit and edit..write and rewrite.

your photos spoke perfectly also.
the child Gabriel..looking out at the world..that dear expression..standing solid..holding on .. ready.
the house with the short door where i would go in to cry and be alone and come out to the beautiful flowers of hope
the grey and how it has hung over us
and the water pitchers and again flowers..
tending to life..watering.. knowing the roses will grow.

true sad hopeful and desiring

i still can't say my thoughts as full and poetically as you.
but i do feel your depth and appreciate it.

with love,
jody

nice blog, with cute baby

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