Madame M

 

Madame M. came to my house when I was thirty-four.

She did not bring a gift to my newborn baby, nor was she subtle, dare I say rude, as she entered quickly, barely saying hello. Madame M. has lived with me since then.

Mixing Baby Blues and menopause is a cocktail few have tasted, but let me tell you, it is one nasty drink. A lack of hormones can cause people to do drastic things. I did not shave my head, but when I see women who do, I wonder if they, too, tasted Madame B.B.'s underrated drink. Mix in Madame M., and it is psychedelic!

In Madame M.'s presence, how was I to know that I would not need a coat for the next five years? She gave new meaning to the word hot and not in the way of sexy.

I had heard tales of Madame M. how she could slap you on the side of your head, cause your face to turn red, have you forget your name, and make you feel, unlike a natural woman. I was shocked to learn everything I had heard was true. Yes, she was a head trip I wish I did not have to take. The journey was long, tedious, and without a road map or Estrogen as a friend, I stumbled along the way. Thankfully French Husband stood by me, loving me while I wrestled with myself under the influence of Madame M.

When I was thirty-four, I had ovarian cancer (stage two). The chemotherapy rendered me menopausal. The doctors forgot to tell me about Madame M.'s visit. A few nights after my first chemotherapy, I kicked the covers off, opened the window wide, and swore to God the house was on fire. It took a few more nights of this routine before it dawned on me that I was experiencing hot flashes.

Hot flashes were easy breezy compared to the other party favors Madame M. brought me. The worse trips I ever took with her were the ones where I felt I was going down the kitchen drain. Hard to explain to someone who hasn't had menopause, but Madame M. can make you think you are going crazy. I saw ants crawling out of my pores. I pinched myself to see if I was awake, then wished I was sleeping.

After having a toddler and a newborn baby, a radical hysterectomy and no hormone replacement was a stark reality that didn't add up. It felt like my world was going around and around as I stood still, trying to hold on to what I loved and let go of the rest. But most of the time, I prayed I would survive cancer. That was my focus; being with Madame M. was nothing by comparison.

 

Thirty-two years have passed since Madame M. came to live with me. I have several coats and wear them often funny how she makes me feel cool after years of feeling too hot.

Lately, my women friends talk about menopause; naturally, they are of that age, and some are older, and Madame M. opens up her other bag of tricks. One party favor after another. I look at them, smile, think back, and count my lucky stars. Madame M. is a resident in my body; we live comfortably with one another, dare I say harmonious.
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How was your visit with Madame M.?

Comments

[Jeanne]

Thank you for sharing all you do with us...............
Blessings

[Kathie B]

I was lucky that my menopause wasn't as rough as most women's (including my mother's), although I did experience hot flashes.

My solution? Lots of sweater twin-sets, or lightweight tops under jackets, so I could remove the outer layer (and later replace it) as needed.

[Nmp]

I had to have a total hysterectomy at age 28. I had my first child at age 16 and had a severe womb infection. My second son was born when I was twenty. I lost two after that. My periods used to last 45 days and I had severe colitis. I barely knew what was happening to me and my doctor explained NOTHING. I went back to work after three months of sheer pain, complications and no support. I worked as a secretary in a hospital. One of my coworkers said to me, “ How does it feel not to be a woman anymore?” She loudly said this to me in a room full of coworkers and patients. I was dumbstruck and shocked. I cried for weeks. I was married with two young sons. When I told my husband what she had said to me, his reply was, “ Well, you’re not actually a real woman anymore.” My mother-in-law told me that I should have had more kids and that the surgery was a mistake. My sister-in-law told me, “You are always sick, so what else is new?” She was gleeful because she couldn’t have children. Not one person had any sympathy for me or helped me through my recuperation. Menopause hit me hard and I had no knowledge of what to do about it. In 1980, no one discussed any “female troubles.” Your post brought up so many awful memories that I have buried for years. I want you to know that I appreciate your post and thank you.

[Corey]

Dear Nmp, I am sorry to read about your sadness and how you were mistreated. To be told untruths, to bear these insults alone, is/was cruel. 1980 may those memories leave you, may those words find no root in you, and in place of them, may you know that you are a real woman, always have been, and that you are beautiful.

[Ella Dyer]

Chère Corey,

Your blog is a breath of fresh air as it greets me each morning; thank you for sharing yourself and your life with so many of us.

Menopause is something of which I've continued to study and learn thanks to the brilliant Barbie (here in Nice). Menopause Taylor (she is a retired gynecologist and world expert on the subject) has written books, weekly newsletters and hosted hundreds of short videos on the subject.

We women will experience menopause for the rest of our lives; without our hormones our bones, brains and viens are in jeopardy. We must educate ourselves, which is what Barbie does best.

From following Barbie -- she is on many social media platforms -- I have learned that we are at risk for strokes and broken bones, not to mention expanding waistlines and personality changes. We owe it to ourselves and to our loved ones to do what most modern medicine has not done; learn about the dire and deadly consequences of outliving our hormones.

I implore all readers to learn more about menopause; it's not just a passing hot flash (as I had). Barbie is the expert and true to herself; she dresses in her beloved Victorian fashion and focuses on helping women live healthier, happier lives.

Bonne journée,

Ella (Barbie's big and grateful fan)

[Franki]

Thank you,Corey.

[Elizabeth Schaeffer]

Easy peezy for me. I really had no bad symptons at all. God is good.

[Marilyn Marcus]

You were so young to go through so much. So glad you survived cancer! And all the side effects of the treatment.

[jenifer Delson]

My dear Corey,
Your post is so powerful. You were so young to experience this at the same time you had your babies. Thank you for opening the door to reveal health possibilities that can affect women, and the truth about our dealing with the loss of purpose of motherhood. I only relate to flushes that would arrive and build while I was in a Board of Trustees (all men) meeting, throwing off covers, putting them back on, lips suddenly losing their fleshy abundance, and lamenting the loss of my best friend estrogen. I am turning 80 still carrying my menopause belly, but through exercise and good nutrition am maintaining the body that menopause deserted and am grateful for the life I lead. Thank you for sharing Corey.

[an west]

Unfortunately menopause and strong willed teenagers arrive around the same time. I carried at all times, a bottle of ice cold water - first sign of a hot flush or brain fog I gulped down the cold water. Most times it helped.