Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

I Promise to bake more Cakes

Clock

New Year's Day is not just another day. Though sometimes I wish it were. New Year's Day has a way of getting under my skin pushing up memories of the past years to the surface. New Year's Day feels like someone opens my front door, takes the rug off the floor and shakes it out the window of my being. Buried feelings, promises not kept, ideas that never made it to form, words said, words not said, paths not taken….

As the emotional dust billows over head I found myself contemplating on what needs to be cleaned up and how to let go of things that don't need to be around anymore. And yes… of course I swept a few things back under the rug.

Last night I had a quiet dinner with friends who live outside of our village. (French Husband, Sacha and Fabrice went skiing. They left a few days ago. I encouraged them to do so, "Go! Honestly go, I don't mind being alone for New Year's Eve. Honestly, really I don't mind. You guys will have fun" And they left for a week's ski trip in the French Alps.) After we brought in the New Year, I walked home alone. Down the hill, under the moon, along the little road with the cold misty night air, scented with pine and rosemary filling my senses. I listened to the sound of my feet on the path, listened to the night
birds singing, and as I approached the center of the village I heard a
few champagne corks pop. I felt a rush of happiness.

Number-one

The dust cloud settled. The feelings of "New Year" paved evenly underfoot and the moon came out from behind the cloud. I unlocked the front door walked in to our house and felt home.

I promise to put up a Christmas tree next year.
I promise to go skiing next time.
I promise be more like my niece Kate (who is four years old) who tries anything because she wants to be a big girl.
I promise to let go of the feeling that I have abandon my family in America by marrying a French Man.
I promise to embrace all the imperfections in me and claim them my own.
I promise to bake more cakes.
I promise not to worry if I do not keep any of these promises after today.

Roman-clock-numbers

What do you hope the New Year will bring?


Comments

66 responses to “I Promise to bake more Cakes”

  1. Bev

    I want to be more loving.
    I want to embrace God more.
    I want to do more random acts of kindness.
    When in doubt as to what to say, to say nothing.
    I want to knit more.

    Reply
  2. Jeanette Mc.

    “I promise not to worry if I do not keep any of these promises after today” – is, well, just great! I don’t know what I’m going to ask of myself this year but that is going to be the last thing I write down now. In September (my birthday), I declared my “year of adventure” was beginning so I might just go easy on myself and stick with just that one. Happy New Year Corey – I will continue to start my day with your words of wisdom – I so look forward to them.

    Reply
  3. Gina Johnson

    I loved this post but don’t love New Year’s Resolutions. I vow to be a better wife and mother. To be less about “me” and more about them, especially in the “wife department.”
    Happy New Year!

    Reply
  4. Katiebell

    I am not resolving anything – in that way anyway this year..
    But I spoke to the garden this morning at dawn, to welcome in the new year. And the fresh green after the rain, and the cool air told me this year would be about nature and the faeries hinted I should draw and write more for my children’s stories. So that is what I did and will continue to do.
    Happy New Year Corey. Welcome in the new, dust off the old. Did you see the full moon eclipse over there? I feel thats wonderful, the boys skiing together, you with the moon.
    Good morning to you Corey. A dawning of the New. lovely to speak with you 🙂

    Reply
  5. Vicki

    Every morning I pray in the shower to be the best me that I can be and that will continue in 2010. We are all works in progress but I certainly wish there would be more progress in the weight loss department!!! I just keep doing the best I can!!!

    Reply
  6. Paula S In New Mexico

    A couple of years ago I abandoned the notion of the resolution and instead decided to have a “slogan” for the year. It was “Be Nice And Keep It Simple”. That worked really well, so well in fact that I never came up with a new slogan each year……so here I am again and it is another new year and that first slogan still seems so appropriate…………
    “BE NICE AND KEEP IT SIMPLE”
    Happy New Year fellow Corey Club Members !!!

    Reply
  7. Alena Dreamer

    Happy New Year Corey!
    I want to get rid of fears, I want to be strong,
    I want to be YES MAN.
    I want to give and receive with with thanks and love.

    Reply
  8. Betty M

    Something I haven’t had much of this year, personal happiness.

    Reply
  9. Rhonda

    Happy New Year Corey! Love your list.
    I hope the New Year brings me a trip to France, a few antique pieces, more organization, good health, more family visits, more sweet conversations with my only niece Kayla, an even stronger bond between my man and I,Chicago Cubs do well, and I hope I find a church this new year. That’s not too much is it?

    Reply
  10. Marie-Noëlle

    From my French doormat or window sill, I think listing is typically American…
    What do you think ???

    Reply
  11. Marilyn

    I promise to live with more JOY.

    Reply
  12. Beth

    I love your list, especially the part about being more like a four-year-old. If we all looked at life through the eyes of a child, we would be much happier. Life is supposed to be good! I’m making myself the promise of trying to remember this every day of 2010. Best wishes to you & your followers!

    Reply
  13. kelleyn

    I hope the new year will bring a skinner me!

    Reply
  14. meppyBN

    Happy New Year, Corey and everyone! After saying the other day I don’t do resolutions, I’d better not………..but will say that I want to keep on learning to trust God and not be afraid …:)

    Reply
  15. Johnny Ancich

    Happy New Year!
    Cartoon…
    http://pastexpiry.blogspot.com/2009/12/cartoon-new-years-eve-2009.html

    Reply
  16. Sheala

    I hope for a change of employment for Dave and I, I hope that all the kids choose to be in the center of God’s will for their lives, I hope to see YOU this summer ♥ Miss you. XOXOXO Sheala

    Reply
  17. mindi

    I want to quit drinking Pepsi,work out more, save more, finish my house, love more, live more! And, I hope I wont worry about my 30 birthday and what I have yet to accomplish and Corey since your prayers come true pray that I finally get pregnant this year!!!
    Dear Sweet Corey have a fabulous New Year!

    Reply
  18. ‘Aunt Amelia’

    “I promise to let go of the feeling that I have abandon my family in America by marrying a French Man.”
    Please, keep the above.
    Please…
    Please…
    Please…
    Please…
    Please…
    Please…
    I don’t see how you could still have such a feeling. But believe you, that you do.
    Please… Give it away. Throw it away. Toss it in the garbage bin of thoughts. Rid yourself of it.
    And………………
    Since you are all about others… How about ridding yourself of this feeling, FOR your own precious family of 4? Hu?
    If you can’t do it for you, do it for THEM…
    ^_^
    Gentle hugs,
    Aunt Amelia

    Reply
  19. Tammy

    I set goals rather than resolutions. I tend to think I work better that way. Sometimes I make it sometimes I don’t but I don’t worry about it. I want to learn to be a better cook…Julie and Julia the movie inspired me. I don’t think I will be boning a duck, but I can read a cookbook. Corey, you are such a sweetie. I wish you the best in the coming new year. You are a star that shines bright.
    love and blessings
    Tammy

    Reply
  20. Amy

    My resolution is….to never make any more resolutions. 🙂

    Reply
  21. Sue K.

    I’ve decided (based on observing my two very healthy and joyful dogs)that stretching is the key to good health. I promise to physically and mentally stretch myself, at least a little bit, every day.
    And I have promised myself and my baby granddaughter that I will use the next 14 months to become the healthiest me possible by my 60th birthday 🙂 I held her the first time last May, and realized I want to be around to hold HER babies.

    Reply
  22. Fran

    Corey, the last two years of my life have been difficult…losing my mother, my best friend…moving to my mother’s house, sending my only child off to live in France and so many other things, I pray that this will be a year of healing. I want to be like like the sheep in the 23rd Psalm, and lie down in green pastures and have my soul restored. Resolutions are our lists, not God’s. I pray you can resolve the feelings about leaving your family. Loosing your father was a life changing event – I pray you can heal too.

    Reply
  23. Tan

    What are those interesting little tiles with roman numerals on today’s post?

    Reply
  24. Cheryl at Casual Cottage Chic

    PEACE…peace in our heart and soul…peace in the heart and soul of others worldwide.
    Have a blessed 2010!

    Reply
  25. Margaret Bouwmeester

    ditto for me….. oh to be fearless and four…. how sweet!
    I want to embrace more….. life, love, friends, health and of course blogging!
    Hugs and Happy New Year!
    Margaret B

    Reply
  26. Juliette

    2010:
    My selfish wishes would be:
    I wish to be a better Mum.
    I wish to be more calm.
    I wish I can resist to the croissants’appeal, when my co-workers bring them, in the early morning, at the office.
    I wish to loose these 10 exta-pounds…
    I wish to find Love, “The One”…(actually, the next “the one” ;-))
    My global wishes would be:
    Happier chilhoods all around the world,
    A real “big step” for our planet’s ecological matters,
    Easier lifes for ones, Tolerance for others.
    In four lettres:
    L.O.V.E.
    Happy New Years, bloggers <3

    Reply
  27. anne

    I am a little saddened by this post… 🙁 the thought that you were on your own for New year or at least after you left your friends, I cannot imagine you saying to your FH and children go I will be fine on my own….and whoever Aunt Amelie is…she is soooooo right, let it go…you need to re-read her words..write them down in a little book.
    Funny I should take on board myself somethings I say to people 🙂
    Happy new Year Corey, Cannot wait to read what goes on in your life this year. take care xx

    Reply
  28. Denise Moulun-Pasek

    I want to be healthier:
    I want to be skinnier
    I want to have (more) healthy food available at home for my teenage sons
    I want to be more active
    I like Bev’s “When in doubt as to what to say, say nothing”
    Bonne, Heureuse année Corey!

    Reply
  29. Isabel ~ Maison Douce

    Many of your promises are similar to mine…. But I have to promise to bake LESS cakes!!!!! I’m such a sweet tooth!!!! Wishing you and your family a wonderful new year!!!
    Isabel

    Reply
  30. Jeanne

    I love you
    Happy New Year
    Rabbit Rabbit♥

    Reply
  31. Judy O

    LIve, love, laugh…. and dance like no one is watching.
    That about sums it up for me.
    Peace, joy and good health in 2010, Corey, and all the fellow blog readers.
    Judy O

    Reply
  32. Lorelei

    I, too, make goals instead of resolutions. My goals include becoming debt free in 2010, doing art and journaling everyday, to become healthier, to embrace the gray of 55, to let go of things holding me back, and “Everything in moderation (including moderation)”. Happy New Year, Corey. You are my inspiration.

    Reply
  33. The Pliers

    Half my family is dead and the other half is working on it with vigor. Nevertheless, I struggle with a real sense of abandoning/having abandoned them by leaving the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

    Reply
  34. Lieselotte

    After waltzing to bed with a hot water bottle on New Years Eve, I promise to feel less cold next winter!

    Reply
  35. Ann

    I wrote down specific goals for 2010, then categorized as follows:
    1. Harbor only positive thoughts.
    2. Reach for the stars.
    3. Forgive.
    4. Boom or Bust.
    5. LOL
    6. Do something extraordinary.
    7. Make a difference.
    8. Create, Create, Create.
    Corey, many blessings in the new year, Ann

    Reply
  36. Kristy

    I want to buy a little cottage this year.
    But really, I just want some peace. For you, for me, for the world.
    Your father is still with you, and you visit your family at “home”, and the family you have made with Yann is wonderfully blessed. You make the most of it without even realizing it and the joy you give to others is priceless. Thank you and happy new year, Corey!

    Reply
  37. shannon in oregon

    i want to go back in time to the day i purchased the dishwasher and decided to wait until my other half could go with to order it. don’t know what i was thinking when i said i’d install it myself.
    time travel, that’s not too much to ask for…is it?

    Reply
  38. Miss Robyn

    Yesterday, Jan 1st was my birthday.. I turned 52 ! and I sat and wrote in my new journal for 2010… I wish to find the Sacred in MY Ordinary… just like you do dear Corey ~ you are one of the most beautiful souls that I have ever ‘met’ xo

    Reply
  39. Miss Robyn

    ps ~ and I promise to bake more cakes too! AND eat them with delight, letting go of the guilt 🙂

    Reply
  40. Angelica Bays

    Thank You for having this blog. It’s beautiful. It’s part of my plan to embrace more beauty- thank you for being part of it.
    God Bless you,
    Angelica

    Reply
  41. kathy woods

    Dear Corey
    The feeling of abandoning family is a common one. I still fel that way after leaving ny family 19 years ago. Don’t worry about the feeling as it is part of the caring you,try to embrace it and not let it dominate your life. You have a wonderful family of your own now in France…something to be very grateful for and very proud of. Happy New year to you all
    Kathy

    Reply
  42. Star

    My word for the year is confidence…and in a way, it is akin to what you’ve expressed here, Corey. I want to stop second-guessing myself and know that the decisions I make are right for me. I want to participate more. I want to explore more. I want to spend the next year moving forward in my life rather than plugging holes in the dike. Most of all, I want to stop comparing myself to the the benchmarks of others and be confident in who *I* am.

    Reply
  43. isa

    Happy New Year dearest Corey.
    I hope that the new year brings more time. That is what I would like more of!
    All the best to you and your beautiful family in new year and always!
    xo Isa

    Reply
  44. AmyKortuem

    Happy New Year to you and your family, Corey! I did so much changing, letting go, growing and deepening in 2009, that I can’t wait to see what’s NEW in 2010. “Behold, I make all things new.” And I’m looking forward to all of it!

    Reply
  45. jill

    wowee! I love those clock numbers!
    Which leads me to…(in terms of time and wowee factor):
    this year I will work on letting go of things that make me feel yukky and fill up with what makes me feel good so I can bring that to others.

    Reply
  46. Lee

    Your last resolution is the best. I try to adopt an attitude, rather than a single thing. “Go big or go home” is my motto this year. I want to get a fledgling business off the ground. I spent NYE alone too, except the two littles, while hubby was out of town. I just moved 600 miles away from my family. I got the tree up about 4 days before Christmas. I now live in the land of snow and have no skis… are you my long lost sister??

    Reply
  47. jann

    I hope the new year will bring better health
    as this last year my husband and I both
    had to struggle with health problems.
    But I know that I have to do my part, so
    this coming year I am going to exercise
    more, go for walks when I can, and try to
    have a positive outlook on life. This new
    year will bring us our first grandchild and
    I know that will bring happiness.
    Don’t feel bad that you left your family
    to follow your heart. I did the same and my
    mother laid a guilt trip on me. But by
    moving away from my hometown, she and my
    father got to travel to visit us and make
    winter trips to Florida from the cold
    midwest, which they never would have done
    if I hadn’t left home. When our children
    grow up, we need to release them to live
    their own lives and follow their dreams.
    Just send them off with lots of love and
    your blessings. They will keep in touch
    if they know how much you love them.
    Sorry this is so long. Wishing you and
    your family a blessed and happy new year.
    Jann

    Reply
  48. Jeni

    Happy New Year!

    Reply
  49. Leslie

    This new year I could wish for good health,happiness,love,and peace within my heart…but really what I really want is to return to the French countryside.

    Reply
  50. Shelley Noble

    “New Year’s Day feels like someone opens my front door, takes the rug off the floor and shakes it out the window of my being.”
    What a beautiful concept, Corey. You put words on a feeling that’s there but hadn’t been really noticed.
    I wish I could have more time to make all the things I want. Instead I have to be grateful for being able to get done what I do. And I am. And I’d like to make more. And I’m being patient. And I feel I’m late and behind. Round and round.
    2010 is such a wonderfully round (and high!) number. I’d like to make a bit more progress on Halfland at a quicker pace than I have so far, for the highest good.
    I’m looking to hire a handyman!! HA!

    Reply
  51. Mo’a

    Happy New Year Corey to you and your family.
    I understand so well that you feel that you have abandoned your family in the US…I often have those same thoughts about my friends and family in Iceland…however, I cannot imagine our lives any other way.
    Think of all the pleasure and diversity you have brought to your family and to your fans here.
    Thank you for your visits and lovely compliments.

    Reply
  52. Gillian

    I hope to travel to France. If I do, I’ll bang on your door!!! I will then ask your inner four year old if she wants to come out and play. 🙂
    Brocante-ing and photographing, anyone?
    I want to watch more foreign, subtitled films.
    I want to listen to new strains of music from the far corners of the earth.
    I want to smell a new smell…anything, perhaps a new fragrance, something pleasant!
    I want to be in the moment more.
    I want to lose seven pounds.
    I want to have healthy gums, well I do, but I’d like to keep them that way I suppose.
    I would like to swim in the ocean a few times, and go snorkelling. I’ll bring an underwater camera.
    I would like to educate myself a little more about the world and it’s beautiful people.
    I would like to do yoga each and every day.
    xoxoxo

    Reply
  53. Redness

    Ohhh Corey … you’re the icing on so many peoples cakes. The recipe you’re using is deliciously tantalising. Please, not too many changes. Keep being the gorgeous, generous, beautiful soul who’s already known and loved by so many! Happy 2010. xo

    Reply
  54. Linda

    I like Paula S’s slogan….
    “Be Nice and Keep It Simple”, sounds good to me, I think I’ll give it a go. Thanks Paula.
    Wishing Everyone a Wondrous 2010!

    Reply
  55. Kimberly

    Corey, this year I want to get back to basics and that is my goal. More time with my husband, boys, family and friends. Simplify. Things have gotten crazy for me and it is time to real it in and slow down. Blessings, Kimberly

    Reply
  56. kristinco

    Tous mes voeux Corey pour cette nouvelle année !
    Même si mes visites sont moins régulières, il m’arrive de passer chez toi sur la pointe des pieds et d’en repartir le coeur léger et émerveillé !

    Reply
  57. collette

    well if that isn’t just the best list! i like writing things down, seeing them in front of me, getting them out but sometimes, just sometimes there’s a pressure there that if you write it and claim you want it then you must do it/make it, etc. so i am with you on the last bit that i won’t be hard on myself if they are swept under the rug or put on hold or, in the end, were just momentary thoughts. happy new year and all the best to you .

    Reply
  58. Betty C.

    Corey, it has been so very long since I have stopped in or commented. I have let blogging slide quite a bit in 2010, but am doing NaBloPoMo in January to infuse some energy into La France Profonde.
    I hope to get out of the house more over the weekends in 2010 — I have been travelling quite a bit for work, which is great, but I find between working all week and those occasional trips, I have become quite the homebody over the weekend. But if I don’t keep that promise, that’s okay — I suppose that’s what a home is for!

    Reply
  59. Gina

    Happy New Year Corey,
    My hope for this coming year? To try to balance home, work, kids, ironing, blogging and maybe find time to paint my toe nails red occasionally!
    Is this too much to hope for?
    Keep up the blogging. You are my one guaranteed smile each morning.
    Gina

    Reply
  60. Linda C.

    Oooh, I forgot..I would like the New Year to bring me a Fairy Godmother.
    She could wave her magic wand over me & turn me into a Frenchwoman because..THEY “don’t get fat, ever”
    In the meantime Corey, continue weaving your magic over all of us with your words and pictures. thank you.

    Reply
  61. Irina

    happy New Year to you, Corey and your family!

    Reply
  62. jenny phares

    Your post touched a chord in me. Thank you. Best wishes for a happy year.

    Reply
  63. susanna

    Sigh…I could imagine myself walking beside you into the village, Corey. You have such a gift for creating scenes with words. I like all your New Year’s resolutions although I don’t see how you’ve abandoned your family by marrying a French Man. Mind you, as someone living outside my own country and away from my own family, I can understand how you would miss Home immensely. I do, too. I found it so hard to live in two different countries at the same time. It’s emotionally stressful and I doubted our decision many times in the first few years. Sometimes it felt as though I had abandoned myself. But once friendships were made, that stress, that not knowing where I belonged eased. Anyway, I know that your French family and your American family are your whole world, Corey. It’s okay to vent your frustration when you need to.

    Reply
  64. Rebecca D

    I will finally learn to like myself and not care what other people think…I am 37 years old for goodness sake…it’s about time. Maybe I will bake more cake…I can at least keep that on for a week or so…then again, maybe not…

    Reply
  65. Patt

    The cake sounds like too much work for me. I to am not a Baker, I am a cook. I am not patient enough for baking. I do however eat the batter raw. Sometimes I never cook the cake. SOOOOO I have a son-in-law who is the baker. thank you Craig. Thank you Corey.

    Reply
  66. Arrica

    where are these lovely numbers from!?!?

    Reply

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