French la Vie

Provence Dreams

 

Provence dreams everyday.

A Friday Night Adventure

A week ago, I wasn't feeling well and had Yann take me to the hospital emergency. As we were driving there, Yann told me his heart was racing; I had a fingertip pulse oximeter with me, so I put it on his fingertip. His heart was doing the Indy 500 at 195 beats a minute. Here is a thing about me I become incredibly calm and focused when the going gets challenging or scary, or some urgent thing pops up, like the idea of my husband having a heart attack. Not my personality overall, as I am more bratty and unfiltered, but when out-of-the-blue situations arrive, needing emergency focus, something in me stands up. We managed to find parking near the hospital, and as Yann leaned on me, we entered the hospital. I helped Yann to a comfortable spot just as he passed out. Security asked if I needed assistance. My bratty self wanted to yell, "DUH!" Instead, I said, "Oui, merci." Quickly, the hospital staff wheeled Yann into the emergency room with him moaning, "I am here for my wife." Which sounded like a man asking for his wife versus my wife needs help. I stood by feeling better, or maybe the shock of seeing Yann pass out, knowing his heart rate was in orbit, brought me a reality that his needing help was more urgent than mine.

Several minutes later, the staff came out asking for me, putting me in the same room as Yann; we were twining with the same paraphernalia: An IV, oximeter, and ECG. Though it wasn't funny, it struck me as comical, both of us lying half-naked in a hospital room on a Friday night, looking like two old worn-out farts. Yann sent Erika a photo of himself all dolled up in his urgent care wear. She thought it was a joke and wondered how he was allowed to dress like that.

Later, we were both discharged. Yann was said to have had a panic attack, most likely due to stress and worry about me. 

I have another appointment with a leading pulmonologist in Marseille on the 20th.

Thank you for your many messages. I am going to be okay. I have had CT scans and blood work they are good. I trust that soon I will be back to myself again. Thank you for caring about me and for your concern.

xxx

Are You a Philocalist?

Via Elesuim on Instagram

 

 

A Guardian Angel

My friend Erika from California is visiting us. When she asked if she could stay with us, I admit I was selfish and did not tell her I wasn't feeling well. I wanted to spend time with her, but she might not have come if I had told her how I was feeling. 

For the record, I do not and have not had Covid. I have taken so many Covid tests I could be called a Covid pincushion for the wands inserted into my nose. I also have had blood tests to rule out Covid as well.

Erika came with her usual generous, happy-go-lucky, optimistic, and fun-loving spirit. A dose of Erika is like swallowing sunshine, with a dollop of liquid gold to brighten any day. As good as that felt and as comfortable it was to have her by my side, our days have been mostly filled with little activity; we have managed to take advantage of the times I have felt well. But you could count them on the one hand. Erika says over and over when I have bouts of guilt that her time here hasn't been as adventurous as I wanted it to be, "I came here to be with you. I am with you. That is what I expected."

Erika extended her airline ticket to stay longer to be by my side. Such loving kindness.

I have a guardian angel.

 

Swans to Dream About

I do not need a garden bench.

I do not need a garden bench.

I could hang them on the wall!

But I do not have any walls left to hang such a thing, and

besides, the wall might not support the weight.

I do not need these garden elements, so why did I have to see them and be the first to come across the temptation?

To remind me, to tell me, to show me, to get real.

Ah, what a  lovely-lightweight-carefree-dilemma! Bring on more of these garden bench elements, bring on many of these types of problems, and load them on. I prefer these to those other real-deal serious stuff!

The freedom, the luxury, the joy, the gratitude of a simple life where the big decisions are nothing at all.

Even if I haven't felt well since April, even if Yann had to single-handily lead the last French la Vie group   by himself and did a beautiful job!! So much so that I think he is preferred over me. I love that! I have good days; thank goodness for that! And getting closer to finding out why I have asthma, post nasal drip, coughing, and catching every cold my grandchildren catch. It has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. I have posted "happy" photos because the good days are welcomed. 

Focusing on the beauty of here and now.

 

 

 

 

A Short FaceTime Video Where We Are Goof Balls

 

FaceTime is second best to being with our Grandchildren.

Our friend Erika caught us being entertained by Olivia, who likes to touch people's noses. So, of course, we obliged. 

Tree Hugger

Ten minutes on foot from our home, there is a wild and wonderful forest. The Huveaune River weaves through it.

When I need to breathe, let my thoughts unwind, and let my inner child/spirit feel her way, my feet know where to lead. 

I am not afraid to dance in the forest. The river, the birds... nature's song roots me.

 

 

Chelsea and I went for a twilight walk in the forest. It never fails to offer us a moment of mysterious wonder. As Chelsea said, "We could be in a faraway forest... who would believe this is in our backyard?"

 

We brought our cameras with us.

Chelsea ran alongside the river.

Her spirit soared, mine absorbed.

 

 

The birds' song as evening fell was utterly tender. Their music takes me by the hand far and yet so near. I love when I feel transported yet don't move.

 

 

We could barely see our way home... but we didn't care; we knew the way by heart. 

I asked my French Husband, "How do you say 'Tree Hugger" in French?"

 

 

 

These photos were taken years ago. However, the feeling remains the same.

I have walked in the forest, along the river near our home, for 27 years. Sadly, a few weeks ago, the century-old trees along the river were all cut down. I haven't dared to see the emptiness, the loss of soulful trees who gave me so much joy.

I am glad I have these photos and others to remind me that once upon a time, a magical place was outside our backyard.

Thankful for You

Childhood

Discovery through play and imagination.
They create their world of wonder and awe with a stick, leaves, and a puddle.

To dive into the magic and become anything at any time simply because they can.

Ah, now to keep alive the source of creativity by not getting in the way. It 

 

The Chair and the Vine

 

An old chair and an old wisteria vine.

Both with history, and both watch in silence.

Which is older, do you think?

Sitting in the shade side by side, both admiring the other,

"You bring comfort!"

"Ah, but you bring joy."

 

 

 

 

Paroles, A Song by Elvis for Today

 

There must be lights burning brighter somewhere
Got to be birds flying higher in a sky more blue
If I can dream of a better land
Where all my brothers walk hand in hand
Tell me why, oh why, oh why can't my dream come true
Oh why

There must be peace and understanding sometime
Strong winds of promise that will blow away the doubt and fear
If I can dream of a warmer sun
Where hope keeps shining on everyone
Tell me why, oh why, oh why won't that sun appear

We're lost in a cloud
With too much rain
We're trapped in a world
That's troubled with pain
But as long as a man
Has the strength to dream
He can redeem his soul and fly

Deep in my heart there's a trembling question
Still I am sure that the answer, answer's gonna come somehow
Out there in the dark, there's a beckoning candle, yeah
And while I can think, while I can talk
While I can stand, while I can walk
While I can dream
Oh, please let my dream
Come true
Right now
Let it come true right now
Oh yeah

Sunday Thought

The Extra Full Train

The train was full coming home, not unusual, but when we got on, they announced that the electronic boards with the car numbers were wrong. So everyone had to get out and race to their right car.

Chaos!

It was crazy and funny to watch everyone’s reactions. My car was literally at the opposite end, which made me happy I packed light.

 

Are We Having Fun?

 

As soon as Gabriel was out of school (yes, school for French children is mandatory at age three), we went to the park, which is a stone's throw from his school, and two stone throws from where they live. Bundled up did not stop him from playing. We took turns holding Olivia and running around with Gabriel. 

That little coat was mine when I was a baby.

 

 

The next day we went to the Hunting Museum. I thought seeing the animals would be interesting for Gabriel until he asked me if they were dead, how did they die, why they were stuffed, and what were those things in the glass cases, which were guns, and that was an entire conversation I didn't think about, duh, hunting museum... guns... what was I thinking.

Not thinking.

At the end of the day, when I went to say goodbye, Gabriel asked me to listen to him sing, he sang K.C. and the Sunshine Band:

"That's the way, uh huh uh huh I like it..."

I cracked up and joined him in singing.

 

Did we have fun?

Erika fits like a glove in our family.

 

 

Longtime Dearest Friend

 

My friend Erika and I met when I was twenty-four years old and working for the Catholic Church in California. Erika was 14 years old. We became friends through youth ministry and, through the years, have remained very close. I rented a studio from her parents, and we lived together when her parents moved. When I moved to France, and after Erika completed her studies, she moved to Marseille to work as an au pair for a woman I knew. Erika is like a sister to me. The funny thing is I often told her I hoped to have a daughter like her. Chelsea shares similar qualities and personality.

It makes me believe we are sisters in spirit.

 

Yann, my mom, and my children adore Erika, and so do my grandchildren.

Sacha used to call her "Erikakaka."

Having a friend, a dear friend, and a lifelong friend is a cherished gift. Having someone who knows you, truly knows the depths of you, who sees you and still likes you is beyond measure love define.

 

 

"Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person,

having neither to weigh thoughts,

nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together;

Knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them—keep what is worth keeping—

And with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

 

A Life for a Life (1859) Dinah Mulock Craik 1826–87

 

 

The Child and a Mud Covered Demi-John

Chelsea 1994

 

 

Chrysanthème in France

  The differences between France and America are subtle. Take Mums and pumpkins, for example.

Mums, a fall flower arrives in force in October. They spill out from the French floral shops onto the streets, creating a parade of magnificent colors. Just as pumpkins shout out Autumn in America, Mums are the flower that says Autumn is here in France. Pumpkins are food in France and the States; pumpkins are more for decoration, a Halloween Jack-o-Lantern.

When invited to a dinner party, it is a thoughtful/expected gesture to bring something to the hostess. Candy, wine, or flowers is the typical avenue.

FLASHBACK 1988... I thought, why not get a Mum's plant? And bought one that seemed to be a perfect ball of gold. When we entered the home, the hostess gave me the oddest expression. Her head leaned back, her eyes widened, and her lips tried to smile as words came out. But as I didn't speak French, I imagined she said, Thank you, plus some other nicety.

Yann never clued me into how things were in France. He left me to my constant faux pas and reality checks alone.

When I came home, I asked French Husband what was up with the odd hostess' expression he told me it had to do with the flowers I gave, "...it is a plant that symbolized All Soul's Day because: "It is the flower we take to the graveside of those we love who have gone before us. Mums are not a flower to give to "the living" in France."

"Oh, great, now you tell me! Add that flower to France's list of do's and don'ts." It is a wonder I didn't bop Yann that evening. I added, "Seriously, didn't you see me carrying that plant into the hostess's house?"

"Yes, but it was so pretty, and you looked so happy."

I wondered about him as I shook my head... mind you, he was 24, and as time went on, I came to see that as the reason for his letting me be instead of teaching me the ways of the land I called home.

My Mother’s way to a Long Life

My mother’s way to a long life...

-Have a passion that stirs you to get up and live.

-Sleep, my mother sleeps uninterrupted nine hours every night.

-Go outside as often as you can. My mother works in her garden, feeds her chickens, says her rosary in a sunny spot, and sits in the sun every day.

-Has faith, believes in goodness and puts her energy into the positive source of love.

-Adds humor and wit into her conversations.

-My mother is exceptionally generous in helping others.

-Plays cards as often as she can, even if it is solitary.

-And eats candy, has a giant candy stash, and an unbelievable sweet tooth. When I asked her what her secret to a long life was, she said with a giggle and yet sincerely,

“Eat candy as often as you can.”

My mother will have the smallest meal; rarely seconds, yet will eat candy throughout the day as if it the air she breaths.

It is a wonder she is human and not a red whip licorice.

 

 

Jet Lagged Zombie

My longtime friend, Erika, from California, is with me in Paris for a few days before heading home.

The last two nights, jet lag has had a hold on me, rendering me sleepless. Chelsea said their previous two nights had been the same, with the exception of two wiggle worms.

Yesterday, a brocante found me. It wasn’t that good … or maybe being a zombie ruled my judgment.

 

 

1988

A rare view of Yann and me in our first apartment in Paris.

 Christine gave me an unearthed photo taken by her sister and my late cousin Julie (who visited us often).

I had never seen this photo before.

I do not recall having short shorts?

But I remember those sandals I bought in Rome!

Sleeping Beauties

A safe, though very bumpy, flight home.

A few hours of sleep for them; most of the time, Gabriel was sleeping on me; when I returned from the bathroom, this was my view of Sleeping Beauties.

 

 

 

The Road Home

Far from the deserted country roads that are

lined in golden hues,

traced in grey, with blue herons standing solo

upon unplanted fields due to the lack of water,

we drove through long-needed rain and autumn chill,

windshield wipers wipe back and forth as my eyes hold back tears,

my mind wanders wide in that open space as it drops thoughts of nothingness as if I were emptying my pockets of collected wrappers, tissues, and receipts,

the streets of France wind their way into my childhood home, and funny; though the rhythms are different, they harmonize with the paths leading here.

Maybe after these many years, I have come into my skin.

 

 

 

 

The blur of one road to the focus of another.

The road leads to two homes.

One thing is at the core, the haunting truth we are growing older,

 The goodbyes are tugging at my roots in a way they haven't before.

Strangely, love seems to pour through every cell in everything around me.

Calling out to me to embrace the path and be thankful.

 

 

Bittersweet

We have been happy to be here,

and yet happy to go home,

sad to leave, full of emotions gathered all in one.

Tears will be shed.

xxx

Soon We will be Venturing Home

 

 

Golden fields,

to the Golden Gate,

to the golden domes of Paris,

to my golden embrace.

 

Close to Heart

Judy’s Pecan Pie

We had lunch at my cousin Judy’s and she made the most delicious apple pecan pie. Oh man, I could had the entire pie myself! Pie is not on the top of my list when coming to dessert. Apples are not even on my list. So you can say apple pie on my least favorite list.
That changed today.

 

 

Catch Up Photos

(Photo via Jordan and Jack’s wedding photographer )

We came to witness the marriage of our nephew Jack, my brother Marty’s and sister in law Suzy’s son and his bride Jordan.

Olivia turned one.
And is wearing a coat my Aunt Marie made of 65 years ago.

(photo via Sacha)

While at the wedding we stayed at our friends Janet and Cliff’s home in Lake Almanor. They had a shuffle board.

 

My mom spent hours holding and playing with these two.

We were all together for one week. 
Such a joy!

We spent most our time outside.

 

We went to a pumpkin patch.

 

We went to our nephew's football match. They are undefeated!

 

Gabriel with his cousin Patti wearing his favorite hand me down from my cousin Judy.

 

Olivia’s Halloween costume “Super Cute Hero”.

Halloween night.

 

Birds and Blog

 

Thank you for your messages telling me about how my blog is uploading. As you have mentioned the photos are half size and the comment section is not working so well. Typepad is aware of the problems and hopefully they will resolve them soon.

------

 

The photo above is from the road that runs by my mom’s home.  When we were children, my mom told us that those birds were Santa’s helpers keeping an eye on us and reporting back to Santa. When they would fly away, I assumed I was in trouble, rarely did I think they were reporting good news. 

Seeing them now I realized how few of them there are. 

 

------

 

 

Pie Eating

My Mom

My mom at 87 still rocking Halloween.

As some of you know, my mom endured a fractured pelvis this spring. Fortunately, she recovered with golden stars and is back to her creative lifestyle and witty personality.

...

I appreciate your patience as Typepad works out the kinks on their platform. At the moment it appears my blog is posting, but it only allows me to post one photo per page.

Please let me know what you are or not receiving.

 

 

 

Up and Running?

 

 

 

Focus on Today

Yesterday,     Now, Tomorrow.

But sometimes you must do things today for tomorrow. Since 2005 I have posted every day until recently when Typepad has had internal problems that are out if my control. I am looking at two different servers to transfer my blog to. Not an easy feat. But in time I will get there.

Thank You for your Patience

My blog again

Is not posting with photos 

Frustrating

These Two

Children are

Little wonders to behold 

as they discover, question, & become 

unfolding their wings

& fly.

——

Sacha returned to Seattle today.
I told him I wasn’t going to cry when I said goodbye. That lasted all but two seconds.

My mom leaned in, saying, 

“Now you know how it feels.”

— —

How I want to keep them close and yet admire how they evolve and move forth.

Olivia took a few more steps today.

And Gabriel says in English, “Come play with me.”

and Sacha flies to Arizona to film a commercial tomorrow.

—- —-

❤️

 

 

 

Help Wanted

I am looking for someone to help me transfer my blog to a new platform. If you can or know someone who can pleases let me know. I am not happy with the outdated, slow moving, frustrating typepad that I have been using since 2005.

Jenga 29 Levels

Have you ever played Jenga?

Sacha, Yann, Gabriel, my mom, and I played over and over again. Gabriel caught on quickly, my mom was a master, and we played as a team and not individually, which for our family is a feat as we were taught to be competitive by my mom who installed that in us. Remember she cheats at cards! She always played plays to win, lol, but seriously she does!

But the habit is breaking as teamwork is a good way to be.

 

Love Time

We have been with family at the wedding of our nephew Jack. The internet connection has been the only hiccup, so our time together has been flawless, though my blog posts appear when they want to and not when I post them. 

Olivia started walking while we stayed at our friend Janet's home. 

So much happiness jammed packed in a day, not by anything big, but simply being with those I love.

Of course, Olivia's first steps were big, as we were all there to witness the moment.

Photos by Chelsea and me.

Happy Birthday Olivia

 

One year old.

Little Sweetheart.

 

 

Loved Shared: Jordan and Jack’s Wedding Day

 

“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”

Blessing of the Hands by Rev. Daniel L. Harris

This was the reading my nephew Jack and his lovely bride Jordan asked me to read at their wedding today.

 

Where we Go

 

My mother says the rosary every day out in her yard. She has a chair tucked away by the barn where my dad once milked cows but later transformed it into a motorcycle shop. Olivia sat on her lap, curious about the dangling beads threaded through my mother’s fingers. 

At the end of my mother's prayers, she wrapped the rosary around Olivia’s foot. Love and prayer. Joy and family. Hope for tomorrow.

Halloween Home

 

 

 

Halloween Home

 

 

 

We Arrived!

 

We arrived. What a journey! We left Paris at 7 to catch the plane to San Francisco. Two little ones in tow. Economy seats, excellent staff, no meltdowns, and nonstop playing. Olivia crawled up and down the plane aisle as entertainment for many passengers. A few tears and two tired adults.

We made it! Thank God we have three weeks to regain the craziness to do it again.

——Thank you for your messages! Prayers for safe travel! And every other well wish. Glad to be back in my Mother’s home! Yann is here! Sacha arrives today! Martin is coming tomorrow.

The wedding is this weekend ❤️

 

 

Up, up and Away!

22 hours door to door.

Here we go!

 

 

Going Home

Tomorrow morning before the sunrises we are heading to Willows for my nephew’s wedding.

Three seats for the four of us; Chelsea, Gabriel, Olivia, and me.

Comfy cozy with books, toys, a go-go baby, and a three year old. The flight will not be boring, we did fine seven months ago so fingers crossed the flight is safe, and no one throws up, or has a blow out poop.

Gabriel told me to carry his bear. 

I have plenty of memories flying back and forth with Chelsea and Sacha twice a year for nearly 20 years straight. 
Only once did Yann fly with us. The other times he came during the middle of our stay. Solo traveling with little ones is not for the faint of heart, or the disorganized, it takes energy, and more than anything a desire to travel. In our case it is to see family is the reason.

xxx

 

My Cousin Judy, the Gatherer

 

The poem you posted yesterday moved me so much! 

 

Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon with my granddaughter Hailey.  We went to the university to see an exhibit about the Maidu Indians.  Her third-grade class is studying indigenous peoples.  They are grinding acorns and building shelters of mud and bark and papier mache.  Her class had gone to the museum on a field trip, but Hailey was sick that day.  Now that she is well again, I called to see about bringing her but was told that the exhibit was ended and would be dismantled the next day.  I explained how disappointed Hailey was about missing it.  The curator had mercy and said that if I could have her there by 3:00, she would let us in to see it. We hurried to get there after school.  Hailey exclaimed about the beautiful campus, stopped to smell every flower, picked up acorns, and marveled at the impressive library building.

 

The curator unlocked the door to the small exhibit room, turned on a video for us, and left us, explaining that we had 30 minutes.  The exhibit was titled Unbroken Traditions. It featured a Maidu woman named Lily Baker.  She was 94 when the video was made.  She showed the baskets made by herself, her mother, and her grandmother.  She showed how the materials to make the baskets were gathered and processed for the weaving.  She used redbud, sedge, maple, and willow. The baskets were intricate, beautiful, and so tightly woven that they could hold water!  There were beautiful designs. Some had butterflies!  Lily's grandmother and mother had made butterfly baskets, and Lily had also made her version. There was one with a turtle pattern she had made as a child.  Hailey was fascinated.

 

The passing down of tradition through generations is such a beautiful thing.  My mother loved nothing better than beachcombing.  She could collect shells for hours in complete bliss.  She would bring them home and rinse them and sort them.  If there were no shells on a particular beach, she would pick up pebbles and rocks - she loved rocks.  If there were no pebbles, she would pick up bits of driftwood.

 

My home is decorated with feathers, shells, and branches. This month there are gourds and pumpkins, of course.  Nature is so full of beauty and wonder.  

 

Hailey is a gatherer too.  Did she inherit this trait from my mother and me?  She once found a pomegranate with a perfect heart on the skin.  She was sure that fairies had left it for her.  Her pockets are full of pretty rocks or acorns or whatever she notices.  That's the thing - she sees.

 

 

 

Being with Hailey is pure joy.  I lay in bed after being with her, Nolan, and Aryana and smile to myself, remembering what they said and did that day.  What a privilege it is to have them in my life!  I know you understand now that you have Gabriel and Olivia.

Being a grandmother is a reward for growing old.  I wonder, will they remember me?

 

The Gatherers

 

Who Wore it Better?

the mushroom (top)?

 

or

 

 

Olivia with the collar?

An Autumn Morning with Friends

 

Teaming up with Red Shed Vintage Tours. French Antiques & European Flea Market Tours and this wonderful  group! Thank you so much for your joy! And please note when you come back Yann says he will be right there to join you, motorcycle and dancing are on the agenda.

We spent a beautiful autumn morning with my friend Monique in her magical garden admiring her pottery creations.

The last group until next year.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Autumn Poem

 

 

Poem by instagrammer “This French Life”

Shannon Pratuch